Another week gone, another week to wait until something worth watching comes out. With it being Valentines weekend and only a few weeks before the Oscar winners are announced, nothing much is coming out. Let me rephrase that: Nothing good is coming out.
Hit the jump to see what lovely (pun intended) films Hollywood has in store for us this weekend.
Just Go With It
Length: 1 hr 50 min
Rated: PG-13
Directed by: Dennis Dugan
Written by: Allan Loeb, Timothy Dowling
Cast: Adam Sandler, Jennifer Aniston, Brooklyn Decker
Official Synopsis:
In Just Go With It, a plastic surgeon, romancing a much younger schoolteacher, enlists his loyal assistant to pretend to be his soon to be ex-wife, in order to cover up a careless lie. When more lies backfire, the assistant's kids become involved, and everyone heads off for a weekend in Hawaii that will change all their lives. -- © Sony
Oh God. Are they still letting Sandler make movies? He had his time in the 90's with Happy Gilmore, The Waterboy and Big Daddy, but now I feel like he's just looking for an excuse to hang out with Brooklyn Decker, the stunning model that's half his age, so he pushed for this movie to be made. I'm not getting the premise of the movie; Sandler pretends to be married so he can hook up with bombshells he otherwise wouldn't have a chance with? Sounds like a pretty unrealistic start to an already unnecessarily immoral movie. I'm expecting this one to rely pretty heavily on physical comedy (always funny) where everything else lacks. I'm surprised Sony didn't push 3D with this one, you'd expect guys would want to grab Decker. (For the sake of argument, Bieber is in 3D).
Who will love this: Die hard Sandler fans. Men who like Brooklyn Decker (in other words, all men). Thats about it.
Length: 1 hr 24 min
Rated: G
Directed by: Kelly Asbury
Written by: Everybody
Official Synopsis:
The greatest love story ever told, starring...garden gnomes? In the upcoming "Gnomeo & Juliet," Shakespeare's revered tale gets a comical, off-the-wall makeover. Directed by Kelly Asbury ("Shrek 2") and showcasing both classic and original songs by Elton John, the film features the voices of James McAvoy and Emily Blunt as Gnomeo and Juliet, who have as many obstacles to overcome as their quasi namesakes when they are caught up in a feud between neighbors. But with plastic pink flamingos and thrilling lawnmower races in the mix, can this young couple find lasting happiness? Two garden gnomes, Gnomeo (voice of James McAvoy) and Juliet (voice of Emily Blunt), try to avoid tragedy and find a happy ending to their star-crossed love affair when they are caught up in a feud between neighbors. -- © Disney
Ugh. I'm basing my expectations of this movie purely on the trailers, which means, I'm not expecting much from this. If they were showing the best comedy from the film in the previews (which they stupidly always do), Gnomeo and Juliet won't be getting any laughs other than from the pity of kids who made their parents take them. Gnomeo and Juliet does seem to have a pretty solid cast list, with plenty of recognizable names all over the place.
Who will love this: Kids who don't know any better. Parents who might find joy in the one or two older generation reference jokes no doubt thrown into the script.
Cedar Rapids
Length: 1 hr 26 min
Rated: R
Directed by: Miguel Arteta
Written by: Phil Johnston
Cast: Ed Helms, John C Reilly, Anne Heche, Isiah Whitlock Jr.
Official Synopsis:
To call insurance agent Tim Lippe (Ed Helms), "naïve" is a gross understatement. He's never left his small hometown. He's never stayed at a hotel. And he's never experienced anything like Cedar Rapids, Iowa. Sent to represent his company at the annual insurance convention, Tim is soon distracted by three convention veterans (John C. Reilly, Anne Heche and Isiah Whitlock Jr.) who will show him the ropes and push his boundaries. For a guy who plays everything by the book, this convention will be anything but conventional --© Fox Searchlight
This one could go either way. I'm still trying to decide if this is the movie of the week. From the trailer, I think the movie is trying far too hard to represent Ed Helms as his exact same goofy character from The Office, and is going to rely on Isiah Whitlock way too much. However, I did chuckle a couple times, so you never know. I'd wait for some reviews before green-lighting this one this weekend.
Who will love this: Depends what kind of comedy you're into. I'm getting a The Hangover and Superbad vibe from this one for some reason, so if those are your fancy: YOU.
The Eagle
Length: 1 hr 54 min
Rated: PG-13
Directed by: Kevin Macdonald
Written by: Jeremy Brock
Cast: Channing Tatum, Jamie Bell, Mark Strong, Donald Sutherland
Official Synopsis:
The year is 135 A.D. It's been 15 years since the Ninth Legion went missing in the mountains of Scotland, and it's up to Marcus Aquila (Channing Tatum) to find out what happened. His own father was the commander of the Ninth, and by discovering what fate befell the fearless leader, Aquila could restore his failing reputation. Crossing Hadrian's Wall and navigating the treacherous highlands of Caledonia won't be easy though, especially since Aquila's only traveling companion is his British slave, Esca (Jamie Bell). Along the way, Aquila will attempt to make peace with his father's memory as he and Esca confront the savage tribes of the land and attempt to recover the lost legion's golden emblem -- the treasured Eagle of the North.
No love interest for Channing Tatum? What the hell is this?! Not that I care or anything. This is the other film that has a chance at being the one to see this week. I feel like we've had a drought for good action movies lately, maybe it's time. Kevin Macdonald directed one of my favorite documentaries ever, Touching the Void, so I have some faith in his abilities. However, this is no documentary. And as has been seen in almost every other Roman period movie, the historical inaccuracies are obscenely obvious, so I don't know where to put my faith in another.
Who will love this: Guys looking for a pretty straightforward action flick. Girls who like Channing Tatum.
Who will love this: Guys looking for a pretty straightforward action flick. Girls who like Channing Tatum.
Justin Bieber: Never Say Never
Length: 1 hr 45 min
Rated: G
Directed by: Jon Chu
Cast: Justin Bieber, Miley Cyrus
Official Synopsis:
Justin Bieber: Never Say Never is the inspiring true story and rare inside look at the rise of Justin from street performer in the small town of Stratford, Ontario to internet phenomenon to global super star culminating with a dream sold out show at the famed Madison Square Garden in 3-D. --© Paramount
BIEBER IN 3D! I just cannot imagine a scenario where I, or anyone I know, would ever see this. That isn't to say that it will be terrible or that no one will end up seeing it, but it will be terrible and no one will see it.
Who will love this: People who already love Bieber, aka, teenage girls who just finished watching Twilight. Who loves them? Ben Roethlisberger.
It's Valentine's weekend for Pete's sake. I'd either save my money for Monday evening, be creative, and do something where I had to interact with my significant other, not sit by them mindlessly watching a movie. Go mini-golfing. Bowling. This isn't the week to check out a movie with you spouse. Trust me, Just Go With It isn't the right movie for Valentine's day.
For those single ones of us (myself included), I'd say either The Eagle or Cedar Rapids is the movie to check out, mood dependent. Neither of these are going to be mind blowing Inception quality scripts, but that doesn't mean they won't be entertaining.
Enjoy single awareness day, and don't make any bad decisions, like Bieber in 3D.
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